PUER AETERMUS: ‘the man-child’

In Retrospect:
1.) This blogpost reveals the ‘seriousy’ side of me. GoFigure.
2.) I need a writing job that pays. *straight face smiley*
3.) To whom it may concern,I am not a sexist.
4.) I keep the blog posts short. Attention span issues. Lol…


Puer aetermus is latin for eternal boy used in mythology to designate a child god who is forever young.

Psychologically it refers to older man whose emotional life has remained at an adolescent level.

The Puer typically leads a provisional life due to the fear of being caught in situations from which it might be impossible to escape.

Like all archetypes the Puer is bipolar exhibiting both a positive and a negative aspect. The positive side of the Puer appears as the Divine child who symbolizes newness,potential for growth and for the future. He also foreshadows the hero that he sometimes becomes. The negative side is the child man who refuses to grow up and meet the challenges of life face on waiting instead for his ship to come in and solve all his problems.

To the man child whether it is a woman or a job it is not yet what is really wanted. And there is always that fantasy that sometime in the future the real thing will come about…the one thing dreaded by such a type of man is to be bound by anything whatsoever.

Most people seem to think that I am a sexist using my blog to direct bitter diatribes at the male folks. Not true. Its just that nowadays I come across men who seem to have their ‘head’ in the wrong place. And one of such kind of men that I have taken a particular interest in (for today at least) is the ‘man child’.

The urban dictionary sees the man child as a man who is of age but still has the emotional or mental capacity of a child. He is almost completely incapable of making decisions regarding women, manning up when appropriate or discussing anything maturely.

There are so many variants of man child and their kind is becoming more frequent in the larger society. In my research for this post I got to discover that almost every man I have come across exhibits one or more traits of a man child. These traits include but are not limited to:

-Trying to pass the blame for their own underdeveloped judgement.
-Not stepping up to the plate when its their role to.
-An overall insecurity in who he is as a man.
-The man child will often attempt tp augment their lack/or compete with peers with material possesions such as the latest electronic gadgets.
-The man child often thinks that they are different to other men because they have no emotional baggage.
-They find immature humour widely entertaining and will have not been in a serious relationship EVER.
-when discussing important things a man child will look at the floor and remain silent,pretend nothing is wrong at the tym and they will drop into radio silence.
-Has a mommy complex like no other.
-Is extremely needy and will want a woman to take care of his every need.

Inspite of all dese there are still some pros that could be attributed to the man child one of which is his uncanny ability to always see the excitement in life and loosen up straight laced people.

To be real honest there is nothing wrong in a man(or woman) embracing his inner child. Infact I know of some men who are perfectly able to balance their adult life with child like exuberances. Such people can be businesslike at work, studious in school,play with their phones and video games and spend quality time with their girls. Cc @onikes @iamwilstephen @Tchemi @janus_aneni @OVI3_RUL3Z
to mention but a few.

But today m not talking about balanced men. I am rather focusing on those who are not serious in any aspect of their lives and shy away from basic responsibilities.

Sadly enough most women find themselves attracted to such men because they make life spontaneous and filled with unexpected surprises. Also another reason the man child seems irresistible to most women is because he has an air around him of a lost boy who needs someone more responsible to care for him. And once a typical girl senses his vulnerability she is melted by his smile and imagines the possible angst that lays beneath his joyful exterior. In her mind he is still growing up and she is a vital part of the process.
The perpetual boy is what almost every woman fantasizes about because it is near impossible to resist his charm. He is often too forgivable, too cute and never threatening enough.

Spontaneous is uber cool and surprises are even better. They keep tins fresh and exciting but still the cons of dating a man child far outweigh the pros.

With a man child you never quite know were the relationship is heading. He may just be casual and having fun while you on the other hand may want to move forward.

He would often break promises to you thereby leaving you with a broken heart. But still you stick It out because he is fun and you think he would grow up,eventually.

Dating a man child also means a constant battle for time. Hey don’t get me wrong. Time apart is necessary for a meaningful relationship but not when the other person feels neglected.

The man child is most often extremely narcissistic and is notorious not only for courting the ‘man in the mirror’ but also for playing the field. A lot like children they wish to be worshiped and expect the world to revolve around them.

A man child may expect you to be a second mother to him and for most women like me who want equality in a relationship, mothering an otherwise grown man would create an uneven bond.

The man child has a lot of projects,interests and distractions in his life. His tendency to go with whatever idea comes to him can be called spontaneity but it can also be called lack of direction.

Also the man child has prioritizing problem especially with too many friends, parties to attend,video games to buy and beat,trendy slangs to learn,weed to smoke and sleeping to do. You might just end up on the lower rung of his priority laDder.

Now the ‘kpim’ of this post is twofold:

GENTS: getting old in a culture that worships youth is a hard pill to swallow. Sure its a tragedy but its also a tragedy to never become an adult. Accepting responsibility is what eventually makes us better people.

LADIES: unless you are looking for a casual relationship,it is not a gud idea to enter into a relationship with a man who refuses to grow up. It is almost impossible to change such men especially if you are looking for more than sex and it is more likely dat you would end up feeling sad and neglected. Stability is always better than being emotionally,mentally and physically exhausted.


I am working on a piece to be entitled ‘can a booty call evolve into a serious relationship?’ I’d need various opinions on d@ so eida use the comment box or get in touch with me. @JNyX_Melah

As usual all grammatical errors were intended.

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