-i am not a sexist.
-i am not a loner. Slightly introvertish and stingy-with-personal-information but definitely not a loner.
-i can be serious! And long and boring too. Sometimes I just ‘choose’ not to be.
I read the blog of a dear friend of mine. One of his posts ‘one good heartbreak’ was a nice read if not for anythng else save for the fact that he shares my weird(according to most ‘humans’ actually) view that almost all heartbreaks are a good thing. There is always a lesson to learn from them if you decide to look beyond your apparent pain,guilt,and regret. in the words of the roof top mc’s ‘things don’t happen to us. They happen for us!’
I believe in love. Yes I am a believer because I have been a ‘witness’ and made the ‘confession’ a couple of times(and honestly too proving that the human mind is quite capable of loving more than one person and sometimes even simultaneously).
I believe in love. That which propelled a father to give up his only son for the redemption of the world. A love that we can never understand. We can only but accept it.
I believe in Love. one that does not thrive in the physical but transcends beyond that.(Love is a strong feeling or affection,fondness,tender affection for someone; to feel or show love for; to caress; to be loved. It mentions nothing about having sex with anyone. Love is the feeling you have when your pet dog or ‘cat’ nuzzles you and licks you in the face. IT IS NOT SEX. Love is the feeling you have for your Mom and Dad or brother or sister. IT IS NOT SEX. Love is the way you feel when you are with your best friend and the two of you are telling your life’s secrets(Amen catch your sub!*winks*). IT IS NOT HAVING SEX. Love is a warm, fuzzy feeling that you feel when you see your favourite grandparent or Aunt. IT IS NOT HAVING SEX.)
I don’t have a whole lot of girlfriends but the few I have I totally love and appreciate. I like to think I am someone who makes a lot of sacrifices for her friends(though I expect to receive of the same measure that I have freely given. Sue me!)
So when I see my girls day dream about those that they love and grieve over those that they have ‘lost’ it is always an ‘experience’ for me. Truth is relationships do seem to affect girls emotionally a bit more than they do guys, but this is mostly because girls show their emotions more often than males.
I remember once upon a time I was very much in love with this dude. But somehow though he was in love with me,he was just incapable of expressing that love in the way I wanted him to. Still I persevered. After all love is patient abi? And then on the 5th month a ‘word’ came from him that he was no longer interested in the relationship(if it could be called that to start with).
I was distraught!!!
For over 3 hours I was in a pool of my own tears. literally!
Co incidentally I had some sort of church related exam to write on that day and it took a lot of pressure from my roomie to get me out of my room and down to the exam centre.
Typically I compartmentalised my feelings and wrote the exam. Very well at that cos fast forward to a couple of weeks later I was told I was to be given an award for ‘the most edifying script’. Don’t ask!!!
Back to the exam…afterwards we were to go through a counselling session. For the first time in my adult life I broke down and told a stranger about what has been the most trying 5months of my dating life. patiently she listened and wisely she nodded,occasionally.
When I was done and after giving me an extra few minutes to sob she took my hand in hers and said to me;
“You know what you need to do,you have to adorn yourself with beautiful things.”(Deep ryt?! I thought so too)
“You have given a lot for this person which is good if not for the fact that in the process you have lost sight of yourself and of ‘Purpose’!.
The only relationship in which you are allowed to lose yourself is in your relationship with God”
“Ruth was busy in the fields when Boaz noticed her because of her heart and character. ‘Notice’ here meaning to acknowlege with honour and to understand”
“So get busy with life changing activities and see as he begins to notice you.”
“You can’t expect to change the person you love but God will change both of you if you let him.”
Those words came to me at a right time and they have been my guiding principle.
Truth is,In the Word of God, we are commanded to love. it is not something you simply fall into but must be worked at, it must develop.
The concept of love today is generally flawed. When the average person speaks of love what they are actually talking about is something they want for themselves.(I have been guilty of that). As this selfish concept of love increases, true, genunine love will decrease.
But I believe in Love. That which is true and unblemished. That which is patient and kind. That which is not selfish.
I believe that out there is a man who is capable of loving me perfectly. Who,beyound that, loves ‘my father’ even more than he loves me.
I believe that a relationship founded on God’s word can stand the test of times.
I believe in good heartbreaks…life is a learning process and Joy has to come in the morning!
I also believe that one day,pigs would learn how to fly!!!
What do you believe in??
(Actually that was a rhetorical question. I really don’t wanna know cos most of y’all are freaks. I foresee replies like ‘I believe in sado-masochism and necrophilia’)!
P.s: yeah the title was #stolen. It rightly conveys my thoughts albeit ironically.
Notice the word ‘humans’. Well for all intents and purposes I am a god!
And I think I have conjunctivitis. Again!
All grammatical errors were fully intended!!!
DEDICATION: this piece is dedicated to Him: who knows my weakness but doesn’t consider it,celebrates my strength,understands my fears and believes in my future!
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